our humble Labor Day holiday

the first day of holiday, Labor Day, was sunny. we hashed to visit the only park in Qiqihar, Longsha park. we bring baby son played on mini-train and mini-tank. we saw some birds and monkey and cranes. we saw camral and bears. baby slept on the bus returning home in my arms and we relayed to hold him in sleep home after the nearest stop.

then situation went worse.last dinner ema brought baby some pears and banabas and claimed that only for baby. baby also claimed he will eat all. i felt very repulsive on ema’s all time bragging her money power and separating baby from others of the family. after dinner i took half of an apple and suggested her buying some cheap fruits for all next time. i also told her that food should be shared, not separated by people within family. ema kept cold shoulders in the coming days. i in the 2 days also felt boring and threatened. i slept in the afternoon for 2 hours each day, while ema busy with tutoring. my life likes in a cold cage, depend on other like ema’s decision. ema frequently boasts the power of money she dirtily earned by meanlessly tutoring. all time she was energetic upon it, which i felt quite wrong. she let some students, most were students in her classes, to follow her tutorial even in holiday just to earn money. most of time in tutorial was ineffective. the students likely silent lamps. she always let it clear that i earned less then hers, and made any chance to protect baby against my influence. she made situation forcing baby to ask for her help and in result let baby totally in her controls. i let baby playing pc games, which i think would be the future generation’s routine, but she constantly shown dispise. she bought a lot of packet food, just let baby eat less staple. she and her mother bought lots of nutritional and lurked baby to take and ruled to let baby eat a day one pill, but baby constantly asked her permission to take. she let baby care-demanding and under her irregular rage’s control and lack most due independency. baby frequently ask for her attention and if her in right mood. she let baby weak.

i saw a lot of poor parency and felt hard to correct it. each time i tried to mend it i got ema’s revenge in cold shoulders in coming days. i trust God my fate and my lasting life, and known God will shine on my baby. i had to fight to live with these ugly family life in peace. i trust God to bring me to peace in the end of my life.

below was photos shot on Labor Day. the movie was shot in the afternoon which was a gloomy day, just like yesterday.

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our humble International Labor's Day

our humble Int' Labor's Day in Longsha Park

with dad on mini-train.

drink milk aside the lake with mom.

double triumph.

steer tank with mom.

bright afternoon on weekend

its a bright afternoon. baby recently got a cold and pumph and a doctor even warn irregular sound in his heart. yesterday i was melt in sorrow and mercy. but today he still so naughty and sound. he recently frequently demands cares with cries, which quite annoying,including his mother upset with his cries. i enjoyed the cyberspace presence very much. but after got wired the office pc, i sometimes on the contrast lose right mood to busy with the internet, instead, felt boring into doze and tears, resulting frequent doze in the morning.however, when i was full of energy, i enjoyed the web as usual and always be agile on posting and comment on web.

this afternoon was too bright to miss. ema busy with tutoring and earning all day while i dozed all the morning and sat in front of pc all afternoon. so ema suggested bringing baby outside before dusk. i didn't went outside with baby since i was sent to my hometown for ailment in the same month of last year. we visited the place around our home, the southern sports yard and south park. the scenery was the same except some folks refused to nod me for my illness. its almost half and a year after my brought my baby haunting the places in jungle of losing thoughts in the turbulent moment before i felt into asylum at my hometown in Hubei Prov. central China.

i love the game of being mad, and being recovered. i see God's call in it. i love my baby and my peaceful life so far. no matter what a thunder ahead, i see and under God's shine.

baby son on ride of his 3 years on earth

bright afternoon.

bright day, turning windy and pale sunshine after noon.

i still dozed a lot in office in the morning. last night ema told me she brought baby visited doctor, and was told likely baby's heart has some problem. my direct response was it can't be and i blamed her too fussy about baby's health. she retorted its none of my business. then i launched to operate on pc and my broking heart love for my baby, esp. in the view of cherished his countable time on earth let me sorry. i visited him who playing with his mother and felt we couples love him the same. then i doubting if we should not treating baby liking he was short of something comparing with other kids in the world. and i felt enough of ema's over-protect baby, just to show her tendering. i love baby strong and independent, cute and robust. i don't like to see his demanding other's companion, esp. his mother. but ema glad to drive him to ask for her cares. cares to his every cough with fussy padding, and every changes of body temperature with all kinds of medicines. too much fussy just to show her fragile cares. i would like to see baby silent and independent, enduring and sound.
this noon i returned home and found the grandma didn't cook as usual. i waited awhile then buzzed ema. she was with baby in another hospital, likely brought baby into medical check. i then left to office. on the way she buzzed but i can't listen clearly what she intends to do. after lunch in a nearby restaurant of the dorm i returned to office and buzzed her again and this time she had left baby in the kindergarten and returning to her working school. later when i writing this she buzzed me again and discuss the situation we faced.
i never believed my baby has any physical problem. he was just so perfect, so shiny under God's glow. if any problem calling him, that's from God's. God, let me take ur way and show me the peace of life of my family. i endured and took vow of loving the world u builds.

Tags: benzrad, benzillar, over-protect, baby, son, health, heart, China, God